The Christmas Picture of Aria, which will be the last of the Holiday pictures, will not be finished by Christmas. I have been distracted by other things and have been neglecting to draw it, and now that I've started it, I cannot make it look good no matter how many times I draw and redraw it.

I'm really frustrated with myself right now and am beginning to wonder why I even bother. I haven't drawn anything great in a long time, and I don't see myself improving the way I want to. And when I DO finish something, I'm still not thrilled with it. When I post something, only four people ever bother to give me any feedback, so again, I wonder why I even bother. It seems no one really cares, so if I don't like my art, and no one else likes my art, why even bother with it? If it no longer gives me the joy that it used to, why do it at all? I'm thinking I need to find something else to do that doesn't make me beat my head against the wall while I strive to create something nice that no one really likes.

I am so close to being done. I really am. And if you read this, and you give me a few encouraging words then go on your way to never look at this page again, please, don't bother because it won't help. I don't want a few pretty, generic condolances, no matter how well meaning they are. I want to know that someone actually cares about my art.

I have several things that I am doing for other people that I will get done, so to those who have things waiting for you, I promise I will finish them, whough it may take some time. If in that time period my attitude changes and I rediscover what I liked about drawing in the first place, if once again I can glean joy instead of frustration from doing artwork, I'll continue in my artistic endeavors. If not, then you will not see anything from me.

I will post the pieces and the commissions for my friends because I don't want to go back on those, which will all probably be done on the middle of next year, so that gives me time to try to find my joy again, but if all I continue to feel is frustration at myself and if I feel no one on DA really likes what I do, I will stop posting. I'll get the message, and will not waste anymore time posting things that no one wants to see.

Sorry about this, but I really needed to get this off my chest.

Stolen From: ;iconchaoharte:

Rules:
1.Pick one of your FCs/OCs.
2.Fill in the questions/statements as if you were your FC/OC.
3.Tag 3 people at the end of the quiz.

1. What's your name?
Celso McHeinrich

2. Do you know why you were named that?
My father promised a friend he'd name his first child after him. Too bad I'm a girl...

3. Are you single or taken?
Single, but tryiing to change it.

4. Have any abilities or powers?
i have some psychic abilities like telepathy and precpgnition that I try to supress. I hate being such a freak

5. Stop being a mary-sue! >>
I;n not a mary sue. I'm a Celso McHeinrich. (note: Celso cannot be called a Mary Sue due to the fact that she was created for an original series, not a preexisting one.)

6. Uh... if you were in a fight with a strong wrestler, do you think you'd win?
i would lose horrendously. I'm only five three and weight all of about 110 pounds. Maverick on the other hand... he would be dead.

7. Riiiiight... have any family members?
My only living known relative is my father and I ran away from him two years ago.

8. Oh? How about pets?
i have a black and white cat named Moolie.

9. Cool, I guess. Tell me something that you don't like.
I hate people who hurt others for their own gain. Unfortunatly, that is all too common.

10. Something that you do like.
Helping people when I can. And flowers! I'm ultra girly.

11. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?
i love making tasty food and singing. I also like hanging out with my friends.

12. Have you ever hurt anyone in a way before?
I didn't want it to happen, but I once caused the break-up of a marraige. Those poor kids had to go through a divorce and their daddy went to jail because of me...

13. Ever killed anyone before?
Never!D:

14. What kind of animal are ya?
I just found out that I'm an alien. But i don't look like one. Someone once said I look too freakishly pretty to be a human and I guess their right. (Trust me, It's not as great as it sounds.)

15. Name your worst habits.
people say I'm too self sacrificing, but I just want to make people happy. I'm also very emotional, painfully shy, and sometimes don't trust people.

17. Gay, straight, or bi?
I am only attracted to men, so straight. A woman tried to turn me once though...

18. Do you go to school?
I did until I ran away from home at 15.

19. Ever wanna marry and have kids one day?
Yes! Very much! But I want ot marry arian but.

20. Do you have any fangirls/fanboys?
What?

21. What are you afraid of? I promise i won't laugh.
My powers, what I am, never truly being loved, and Zondo. He's crazy and tyrannical and wants to force me to marry him!

22..*snicker* Ok,ok. What color is your hair?
Auburn

23. Eyes?
Dark green. now that I think about it, A little too green.

24. What do you usually wear?
Skirts and bluses.

25. Ok. What's your religion?
Christian, and I guess you could say protestant though I can't give you a denomination. i used to be Catholic but....

26. Do you wish this quiz was over?
I need to do some laundry, but you are really nice.

27. Well it's not over XD!!
Okay.

28. Anyways, where do you live?
With Maverick, Arian and Virago in Maverick's hotel. Arian and I share a floor.

29. What class are you? (low class, middle class, high class)
Low class. I'm poor.

30. How many friends do you have?
About eight good friends.

31. Wow. If you could change anything about you, what would you change?
I would be more assertive. i'm way to timid for my own good.

32. If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? And i don't want no cheap answer, ya hear?
Invest it in bank to make sure I have a secure future.

33. What are your thoughts of pie?
i love it! Would you like me to make you some?

34. Alright. What's your favorite food?
Chocolate!

35. Favorite drink?
Tea. ( haha you though it would be beer but not all Irish people drink!)

36. What is your favorite place?
The pond on the park at night.

37. Least favorite?
Zondo's palace. it's so... cold and metal and theirs no nature. And Zondo is there too...

38. Are you still wanting this quiz to end?
I really need to do that laundry.

39. Yeah. well it's over. D:
Okay! Bye!

40. Now, tag 3 people
Megan, Maddie, and Justin.

My mother has been in the hospital since Tuesday due to Congestive heart failure. Fortunatly, she is getting out today. I would have told you sooner, but i have been so busy since then I haven't had time to come to the library. for the few of you who knew about it (Justin and Meg) I thank you for all your concern.

Lady Gaga has now joined Cher, Bjork, Bai Ling, and Bobby Trendy in the League of People Who Dress Like Walking What-The-F***s.

Oh my God Adam Lambert is outside my window singing!

Oh wait... It's an angry cat.